last sat...

i left home about 6.30pm, driving towards your office. the traffic was very heavy. took a little longer then usual to reach ur office. and cos of the jam, it was really a tougher drive

reached ur office ard 6.55pm, could nt find a space to wait for u, so i made another turn, scared u come down n cannot find me. finally found a space after making 2 turns, i parked behind a black jazz and off my engine, my lights might hav attracted the driver in the black jazz, he got down and looked at it, i promptly turned my engine back on, the central lock engaged and i saw u coming, i had to quickly press the unlock so you can come in. when u came in, u looked at me and asked "tu di ni jing tian hai hao me?" i tink cos u saw i panicked. i did not ans and did not tell u wad happenned jus now... the jam, the jazz driver confront me, the lock came on when u arrive... i jus shifted my car out and the road there are so many cars and i had to look carefully, the day jus don't seems normal cos usually i will find a space easily and the road is very quiet... finally i moved out and merged with the main road

it is red light, i took my hp and sms D to inform her we r moving off from ur office and roughy reach ard 6.40. u told me "move le!" when the red turn green. i got shocked. you quickly said "sorry sorry sorry". i did not ans u cos in my mind i still tinking wad i wan to sms D and i had to watch the traffic. then i turned to you and said "wo you kan de ok?". you turned away. i sensed something is not right, mayb i angry you.

along the way to meet D, i keep on askin you. softly n gently ask "wo shi bu shi rang ni shen qi?", "bu kai xin gao shu wo ke yi ma?" you jus said "nothing", "mei you". i keep on asking... upon exiting expressway, i really cannot take it, and got fustrated cos i feel u do not wan to tell me your displeasure and wan to fool me, i vented my anger on the car n drove agressively, konk my horn too.

D came into the car, we did not tok, jus drove to the place for dinner. you begun to talk to me, but i noe later D not around we will cold war again. supposed to watch movie after dinner. actually we still hav time for movie. but u said u r tired n wan to go hm rest.

so we drove D hm. and when D got down, i question u again, keep asking. u still dun wan to say. i feel u keep 2 urself. i rather u trash it out. anything jus say. but u did not. i again gav up asking n drove u back, again driving aggressively, when reached ur hm, i tink i drove like racing car liao.

we reached ur hm, u said "bu yao kai so fast", i nv reply u, i jus sped off after u close the door. usually i will wait down there, see u got out of the lift, then slowly arrange my car, then leave... but this time i really so angry i jus sped off

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i dunno wad u learn from here. but me, i guess cos i care too much abt wad u tink of me. and the slightest displeasure i feel u hav on me, i like to find out. this made me keep asking u n asking u. and when u die die also dun wan to say, i got very fustrated. n i got fustrated cos i really care abt hw u looked @ me. tink this is the 1st time i gt fustrated in u ba.

mayb if i nv care so much abt hw u feel abt me, or if u were willing to tell me ur displeasures truthly, none of this would hav happened.

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anyway, its been a wk since this had happened, i was all the while seeking ur forgiveness and telling u hw i still care and dote u as before. but none worked out. seems like u even dun take into account hw i shower u wif care, concern. u jus close u n dun 1 2 tok to me...

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mayb u r facing some kind of prob or something which u r nt willing to share... i guess a time to cool down for both of us is really good. hope u keep up to ur words n really will come look for me when u r feeling better, or at least when u r ready to tok... and hope u did not tell me this so i will jus giv up as time fades my feelings... cos u noe to fade takes a longer time for me than a usual person...

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hope u hav a good rest, tink abt nothing but relex, when u r ready, let's meet... cos u r really a gd fren then i dun wan u turn into enermy. hope we can be as close as like once we used to be...